Somehow it is there all the time. Between my shoulders and sometimes in my chest. The places differ but the ache goes on and on. Where does it come from? I'm not sure really, it can be everything that is going on in my life. According to my last post in this blog, I'm very happy about it. And that is also true.
But apart from what I wrote, I'll be without a home in August. And where do I want to live, if here in Stocholm, how? Alone or sharing, big or cheap or do I even have a choice? Then there is my little company, how will I survive? I don't get all the days I aim for at the bus-garage. And then, love, can I love again, what do I fear? I have actually never had a good and lasting relationship. Maybe I'm unable to love and be loved? I don't think so, but in my darkest hours that comes to mind. Please God, help me to dare.
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